20 replies to this topic

[Dreakon139]

Just something that came to mind. I've had this argument with friends before, do you include things like Poker, NASCAR, etc. in your definition of "sports"? The math olympics?

Or are sports just limited to athletics and the typical football/soccer, basketball, hockey, etc?

Where do you draw the line?

[PSXtreme_]

GEORGE CARLIN AND SPORTS
To my way of thinking there are really only three sports: baseball, basketball, and football. Everything else is either a game or an activity.

Hockey comes to mind. People think hockey is a sport. It's not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they'd do these things one at a time. First go ice-skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the shit out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun. Another reason why hockey isn't a sport is that it's not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can't be a sport. These are my rules, I make 'em up.

Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.

Running. People think running is a sport. Running isn't a sport because anybody can do it. I can run, you can run. For Christ sakes, my mother can run! You don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?

Swimming. Swimming isn't a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense. Sailing isn't a sport. Sailing is a way to get somewhere. Riding the bus isn't a sport, why the fuck should sailing be a sport?

Boxing is not a sport either. Boxing is a way to beat the shit out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is actually a more sophisticated way of hockey. In spite of what the police tell you, beating the shit out of somebody is not a sport. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can be a sport.

Bowling. Bowling isn't a sport because you have to rent shoes. Don't forget, these are my rules. I make 'em up.

Billiards. Some people think billiards is a sport, but it can't be, because there's no chance of serious injury. Unless, of course, you welch on a bet in a tough neighborhood. Then, if you wind up with a pool cue stickin' out of your ass, you know you might be the victim of a sports-related injury. But that ain't billiards, that's pool, and that starts with a P, and that rhymes with D, and that brings me to darts.

Darts could have been a sport, because at least there's a chance to put someone's eye out. But, alas, darts will never be a sport, because the whole object of the game is to reach zero, which goes against all sports logic.

Lacrosse is not a sport; lacrosse is a faggoty college activity. I don't care how rough it is, anytime you're running around a field, waving a stick with a little net on the end of it, you're engaged in a faggoty college activity. Period.

Field hockey and fencing. Same thing. Faggoty college shit. Also these activities aren't sports, because you can't gamble on them. Anything you can't gamble on can't be a sport. When was the last time you made a fuckin' fencing bet?

Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it. It took me a long time to come up with that rule, but goddammit, I did it.

Polo isn't a sport. Polo is golf on horseback. Without holes. It's a great concept, but not a sport. And as far as water polo is concerned, I hesitate to even mention it, because it's extremely cruel to horses.

Which brings me to hunting. You think hunting is a sport? Ask the deer. The only good thing about hunting is the many fatal accidents on the weekends. And, of course, the permanently disfigured hunters who survive such accidents.

Then you have tennis. Tennis is very trendy and very fruity, but it's not a sport. It's just a way to meet other trendy fruits. Technically, tennis is an advanced form a Ping-Pong. In fact, tennis is Ping-Pong played while standing on the table. Great concept, not a sport.

In fact, all racket games are nothing more the derivatives of Ping-Pong. Even volleyball is, technically, racketless, team Ping-Pong played with an inflated ball and raised net while standing on the table.

And finally welcome to golf. For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it's the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period.

From George Carlin's book Napalm and Silly Putty

[EzPzNDaHeezy]

I agree with the definition as provided by Google:

sport/spôrt/
Noun: An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others.

Now, that would not include Poker, NASCAR (iffy here, nonetheless.. racing is a category of its own right), and 'math' Olympics simply because of the lack of "physical exertion." I'd honestly have to say I would include many things a sport, such as the log cutting events often shown on ESPN. I don't particularly enjoy those without a few rounds of beer, but they are physically exerting themselves in an environment ultimately governed by a set of rules in which they compete against others.

[Stevieboy]

Basically, if I can do it then it's not a sport

[Muff]

very simple, dear sir...*ahem*


....anything that isnt golf, cheerleading, polo......and sorry, but not girls lacrosse (it was made later, if you ever watch it, and watch a men's lax game after, youll notice why)

[Deth]

Sport

A pastime where sweaty men/women/children play with each others balls.

[Malik]

I´d say sport has its own definiton by multiple societies on on this earth..

Example: Some say sport is and activity where you have to get exhaused while others say it´s a activity where you only use your arms ..
But even some say killing people or animals is a sport of theirs . And here i could reference to criminals or let´s say hunting.
And when it comes to this point of you you could say that a hobby is a sport .. internet freaks sometimes define net development or even hacking as a sport ..

So sport has its own definition by multiple cultures and societies on this earth

[Cthulu26]

Sport = competition.

[Stevieboy]

Sport = competition.

Does that mean gaming is a sport? Awesome, I'm an athlete

[Cthulu26]

Does that mean gaming is a sport? Awesome, I'm an athlete

Athlete = physical fitness.

[Stevieboy]

Athlete = physical fitness.

I play soccer once a week (sometimes more). Does that count?

[PSXtreme_]

Soccer ain't a sport, thus you ain't no athlete...

[Stevieboy]

Soccer ain't a sport, thus you ain't no athlete...

I dispute this!

[PSXtreme_]

I dispute this!

Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.

Nuff said!

[Stevieboy]

Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can't use your arms. Anything where you can't use your arms can't be a sport. Tap dancing isn't a sport. I rest my case.

Nuff said!

If you're the Goalkeeper you have to use your arms, and I've seen enough outfield players use their arms in various ways illegally. I rest my case

[PSXtreme_]

If you can get George to recant his statement...I'll recant mine.

but on the positive side...this discussion has decided that "Victory" is not my dinner movie for tonight!

[Stevieboy]

but on the positive side...this discussion has decided that "Victory" is not my dinner movie for tonight!

You could try Mean Machine instead.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0291341/

[PSXtreme_]

You could try Mean Machine instead.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0291341/

True...I have both versions...IMO the original was better

[Dreakon139]

Sport = competition.

Spelling bee?

[Cthulu26]

Spelling bee?

Job hunting?